SLEEP BUMPS: ILLNESS

How to manage your child’s sleep when they’re unwell

It’s that time of year when Christmas is over, the New Year buzz (if there ever was one!) has died down, and Spring is round the corner! I love Spring for many reasons but I’m particularly looking forward to the winter bugs going into hibernation! This winter has by far been the worst I’ve seen in all the years I’ve worked with children for relentless illnesses. Two winters of not mixing has left us with reduced immunity to everything else, and every family I’ve worked with since Autumn has had a near-constant stream of illnesses. So where does that leave you when it comes to sleep? A common dilemma that most parents face is whether or not to introduce new or old ‘habits’ when their child is unwell, and if they do, will that mean the end of decent sleep until Spring?

BEFORE

it’s all about the prep

Yes it’s a bit like a broken record but hear me out…routine really is the foundation for when things go pear-shaped. Why? Because not only does it give you a sense of structure in the midst of a turbulent phase, it also helps you to understand your child’s needs and how to best accommodate them when they need it most. Children LOVE structure, and THRIVE on knowing what comes next, and this is even more so when they are poorly.

Routines don’t have to be set to the minute, but a general pattern each day and an understanding of their wake windows is useful. Not sure what your child needs? Download our free ‘How Much Sleep’ guide.

Young children, especially babies, will naturally sleep more when unwell so their nap structure may change for a few days whilst their bodies catch up. A common question I get asked is should you allow your child to sleep for longer when they’re unwell? This is almost always a yes, our bodies need the extra sleep to fight off the illness. Apart from very young babies (under 3/4 months), most body clocks are well set and won’t be entirely overhauled from some extra snooze time during the day. One way to ensure they stay on track is to make sure they’re awake from any nap to keep to their usual bedtime wherever possible. This is the best way to keep their routine on the whole stable and avoid any major issues following an illness. As it’s all about the prep, don’t wait for an illness to start a bedtime routine – if you’ve yet to implement one you can find lots more info here.

self settling skills really can make the difference

The ability to self settle isn’t the be-all and end-all, but from my experience it really can make a huge difference between babies who have mild sleep disruption or a major regression leading to severely disrupted sleep.

When we stir and wake briefly overnight as part of normal sleep patterns, we do an unconscious quick check of our surroundings to check we are safe enough in our environment to go back to sleep. As adults we often have more difficulty returning to sleep when we are unwell, and this is also true for our children, and results in a broken nights sleep.

Self settling skills can really help a child sleep better during illness because during the (sometimes many) moments they stir throughout the night, they are far more likely to return back to sleep if their sleep environment continues to look how it did when they initially fell asleep at bedtime. This cuts down the wakings to ones where they actually need you for extra cuddles, pain relief or similar. Teaching these skills doesn’t have to mean Cry It Out though, see my truthful thoughts on sleep training here.

DURING

it’s the new habit, not the bump

All babies need us as parents to show them the way during sleep bumps. It’s often the creation of a new or sustained habit that leads to longer term sleep disruption, rather than the initial cause.

So whilst your child may need more attention and comfort from you, try to think about the longer term picture throughout to help avoid any longer term habits forming when they’re unwell. For example if you really don’t like the idea of bed sharing but your child needs closeness to fall back to sleep, try to cuddle and return to the cot/bed, or camp out in their room for a few nights until they are better – it’s so much easier to retreat from them if their sleep environment has remained the same!

soothe, not solve

Help your baby to remain as calm as possible during sleep bumps by offering comfort, but try not to solve the problem for them. Show them ways they can learn to do it for themselves. For example if they have recently started to stand up in their cot and are doing it all the more thanks to an illness, help them learn to lay back down by gently guiding them down every few minutes, and also give them the space to see if they can do it for themselves.

remind and reassure

Gently tell your baby that it is night time, remind them that it is time for sleeping and reassure them that you are there and they can do it. As parents our job is to respect and empathise with their needs, but to be careful not to do too much helping that results in taking the baton of learning away from your baby.

AFTER

back to routine

Once the worst of the illness has passed, it’s time to use that routine to it’s advantage and start to steer your child back towards it.

Has your baby added an extra nap in during the day to cope? Start to slowly increase their wake windows again so that they are back to where they were before.

Has your toddler been fighting sleep in their bedroom and you’ve had to resort to naps in the car? Now is the time to get back to cot/bed naps.

It can be really hard to be firm with boundaries with our children when they’re unwell, but as soon as they’re showing signs of feeling better, it’s well worth implementing their usual routine with confidence. Just remember that children love it even more than we do and truly are happier when they know where they stand.

PRATICAL TIPS

• Have everything you may need (such as medications, thermometers, extra sheets and clothes) to hand to decrease the level of disruption overnight.
• Use a night light for any night time check ins, even if you are changing sheets etc. Bright light can really disrupt our body clocks at the wrong time, which will make it more likely that your child will go off course.
• Although saline sprays/drops are fantastic at clearing out tiny nasal passages, humidifiers can be a great way to decongest a baby or young child overnight without the need for hands on measures if your child is a refuser!
• It goes without saying but extra cuddles are often all they need during this time. Don’t be afraid to offer more comfort when they’re unwell! Children are resilient and can easily get back on track afterwards.

Don’t forget there’s a whole page full of free resources to help prepare you child for illnesses and other sleep bumps, as well as to solve any arising sleep issues afterwards. I also offer a free 15 minute assessment call so get in touch if you want more support, and to find out if and how I can help.

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