‘Drowsy but awake’

The term that confuses parents, and seldom works! Find out why out why it’s the term I love to hate…

I think in my years of working with young babies, this is the most commonly cited term I have heard when it comes to sleep training practices. Whether you’ve read about it online, heard it from a friend or more often than not, a health professional, most parents have tried the ‘drowsy but awake’ tactic before getting in touch. It’s especially used as a ‘gentler’ way to approach teaching your baby to fall asleep independently, without having to go for full on sleep training.

In theory, it’s a great concept: rock, feed or hold your baby to the point of drowsiness and then transfer them peacefully to their crib or cot so they’re aware they’re being put down, but aren’t wide awake and fussy. But how drowsy is too drowsy? What if they wake right up as soon as they’re put down? What if they transition straight from awake and crying to fully asleep, bypassing ‘drowsy’ altogether?

These are very common issues with trying this technique, especially as babies reach 3 months and beyond, and in my experience only confuses parents further.

THE CONCEPT BEHIND THE PHRASE

I understand the concept of putting a baby down drowsy – it is in theory the perfect way to teach your baby how to settle to sleep independently. It’s often a phrase that is stumbled upon when parents are looking for a gentle sleep training approach, and in an ideal world, it’s how every baby could learn how to sleep soundly.

In principle, you would use lots of contact and comfort to hold, rock and/or feed your baby until they are 80-90% asleep or “drowsy”. At this point, while your baby is still slightly awake and aware of their surroundings, you place them down in their sleep environment.

Having been aware of being placed in their sleep environment as they’re falling asleep, babies are much more likely to remain asleep there rather than needing to be picked up again, which can often happen if they fall into a deep sleep in your arms and are then put down. It forms the very basics of sleep training – helping your child to learn how to settle themselves in their own sleep environment.

WHEN CAN IT WORK?

Many newborns (birth to 3 months) need lots of contact and comfort to even begin to be ready for sleep, so it’s only natural that they need to be either asleep or very nearly so before they can be put down. When newborns aren’t having a fussy moment, the ‘drowsy but awake’ method can be a great way to slowly teach them during this phase. It can also be a great way to get a least 30 minutes of non-contact napping because they are more likely to stay settled for at least a short while.

I’ve also found it can be mildly successful between 3 to 6 months, when they are becoming a little more alert, a little less clingy and have a better understanding of their routine and environment. It’s a great way to start some early teaching in self settling, by putting them down when calm and instead of prolonged cuddling, you can use tactics such as rocking their crib instead.

Of course, it can also work for some older babies too, and so if you’ve found that your baby is settling well with this method, and is sleeping overnight in accordance to their age/development capabilities then carry on as you are!

WHY IT OFTEN DOESN’T…

There are sadly a multitude of reasons why this method doesn’t work for many babies. Some of the common reasons are:

They are too fussy/clingy. If you’re trying this technique with a newborn, there’s a good chance they’re still quite clingy and unable to part with you until fully asleep. This is completely normal at any age, but far more likely in the early months, and prolonged efforts (and multiple failed attempts) will lead to an overtired baby.

They are too awake. The immediate issue is that you still have an awake baby! The resulting implication of being too awake when put down, and subsequently too aware, is you’ll likely end up with a baby who becomes upset and confused, crying for the settling method that they are used to.

They are too sleepy. The opposite issue to them being to awake but arguably even more problematic, especially in the longer term. If your baby is unaware they are being placed down in their sleep environment, the entire point of the method is being missed.

They settle but then wake as soon as out down or shortly after. If this is happening, there’s a very good chance your baby is going down too drowsy, or they are having a micro-sleep during the setting process.

Ultimately, it can be very hard to determine when someone is very close to sleep or are in actual fact, already in the early stages of sleep. In studies with adults, many reported having not slept when in fact their EEG recordings said the opposite. She babies close their eyes well before they are asleep, and others may already have entered a light sleep before closing them! I have found that when sleep methods have not been successful, the primary reason is down to a micro sleep in the run up to bedtime (that wasn’t an appropriate nap). Even just a minute or two of sleep can reduce the sleep pressure enough to result in a baby who won’t go to sleep happily when put down. These micro sleeps can include dozing while feeding on the breast or bottle, and of course, in your arms when attempting the ‘drowsy but awake method.

WHAT’S PLAN B?

If you’ve tried this method but it’s simply not working due to one or more of the reasons described above, here’s how to tackle it:

If it doesn’t work with a newborn, they simply may not be ready or are just having one of those days. My advise in this situation is to take away the pressure and instead just settle your baby all the way into a deep sleep before attempting to put them down to avoid repeated settling. While this is not a long term solution, the newborn phase is often about survival and you cannot ‘spoil’ them by holding them too much.

From around 4/5 months, babies are actually ready to start learning so this may be the time you’re first giving the’ drowsy but awake’ technique a go but have hit a wall. And if you’re reading this for tips, it’s highly likely that settling them until they are fully asleep is either not working at the onset of sleep, or is causing them to wake up in the night.

The main aim from this age is to avoid them being drowsy at all! This is the only way to avoid misreading their sleep signs. While you do want them to be ready for sleep, having had an adequate wake window for their age ahead of bedtime, you do not need to prolong the holding part of their bedtime routine beyond their normal feeding time and story time cuddles. The key is having the confidence to settle them in their sleep environment without being held, and instead place them down fully awake at the end of their bedtime routine, ready for sleep, but not there yet. It’s always worth trying to just give them a kiss, put them down and walk away – I have seen many amazed parents watch their baby settle happily following this exact routine! BUT, if they are unable to happily fall asleep being put down awake, this is where other sleep training methods come in; you can find plenty of options on my free resources page.

In summary, if you have found the ‘drowsy but awake’ method works for you, keep going! But if you’ve got a sleep-fighter, it’s likely time to start some sleep training, in whatever capacity you feel comfortable with. If you need some help, advice and support through the sleep training process, HusahBoo can offer both remote and hands on support to give you the confidence you need to get your baby or toddler sleeping happily and soundly. 

I offer a free 15 minute assessment call so get in touch if you want to chat more about any issues you’re having, and find out if and how I can help.

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